Most relationships that reach a crisis-point do not happen overnight…
You know the story about the frogs who boiled to death?
Check out the video below to see how the story about boiling frogs can inform you about your relationship.
Here’s what happened to the frogs:
Frogs are very similar to humans in the power of adjustment with the situation.
When you put a frog in a vessel of water and start heating the water. As the temperature of the water rises, the frog is able to adjust its body temperature accordingly. The frog keeps on adjusting with increase in temperature. Just when the water is about to reach boiling point, the frog is not able to adjust anymore. At that point the frog decides to jump out. The frog tries to jump but is unable to do so, because it lost all its strength in adjusting with the water temperature. Very soon the frog dies.
What killed the frog? Many of us would say the boiling water. But the truth is what killed the frog was its own inability to decide when it had to jump out.
We all need to adjust with people and situations, but we need to be sure when we need to adjust and when we need to face. The frog-in-boiling-water syndrome, can arise in other, more serious, situations throughout our lives where we willfully ignore an increasingly dangerous situation, telling ourselves that we’ll do something about it “soon”.
There are times when we need to face the situation and take the appropriate action. If we allow people to exploit us physically, emotionally or financially, they will continue to do so. We have to decide when to jump.
The main reasons we get into these situations are denial (we would rather stay telling ourselves, “It’s not that bad, yet,” and we stubbornly choose to remain in the same situation and get stuck in deteriorating circumstances and do nothing about it till we find ourselves at a miserable dead end. Low self-esteem and fear can also be reasons that delay our taking action.
Don’t be like the boiling frog. You are smarter than the frog. Step back from time to time and take stock of situations in your life such as your health, your relationships, your career or job, your business and your investments. Do this regularly.Let us jump while we still have the strength.
So the first step is to acknowledge two facts:
1. This relationship did not get to this point overnight and will take time to change.
2. It will require at least one of you to take different actions than you have in the past.